Tone .Are

My Share.

In Uncategorized on November 5, 2010 at 5:42 am

.

My loved ones.. in camaraderie, in family;

Before you, i speak, from a place in the heart that is clear as the surface of your lens between these words and your thought. At this time. To create a clearing for a powerful future bounding us towards a freedom that will liberate me and hopefully yourself, for the possibility of a future our most seminal ancestors envisioned our children would live into. Pure.

My ambitions aside there are some things i must share for my path to beset it’s way before me. And so that you may join me, with the same love on your back. If it shocks, it is because i am a human whose being i’ve shaped from a place that is not nearly as close to my self as my intentions take root for me to be. If it disgusts, it is because i am a human whose being i’ve shaped from a place that is not nearly, as close to my self, as my intentions take root for me to be. For this, i am from the exposure of a most bare gesture… sorry.

I have let myself down. Because i have let The People down.
You may pardon for me a grace, all you wish, in acknowledgment that i am not perfect and should have expected to come up short on holding to my word released to the universe; occasion, after occasion. But the only thing that will stand for me in transition from that place, is to complete with it and put it behind me. You may pardon that i have presented forth pretentious projections of myself, in the Man you have come to know/associate as Tony, per reminder, that i’ve made up for what i’ve lacked in integrity, with kindness and genuine effort. I in my heart of hearts, could not relate to an authentic person saying it, if i told you i’ve done what i could to be the best Brother, Father, Writer, Activist, Educator, Lover, Friend.. i can be. I just wouldn’t.

So i bring you here,
so that you may know the truth.
That i’ve been selfish. That i’ve been dishonest. That i’ve been scornful.

Stories, that i’ve created and internalized, which tainted my judgment of you all around me, whom perhaps gravitated near in righteous deed, have kept me distant, have influenced interpersonal strife, that has perhaps played itself out only in my mind. Interpretations of smiling, hugging, chatting Brothers and Sisters scattered throughout my world, conspiring to shut me down. Elitists at the open mics, agents at the rallies, back-stabbers in the workplace; interchange the aforementioned any which way, the position of my twisted reality has only served to fuck, me! I have prevented myself from being free. Insecurities cultivating my journey around apprehension like a vine played the individual i was being for myself as sly. It has been a small game to play, and not a very empowering one.

My principals are strong; my human agenda, one shaped by Powerfully giving People, living in the nature of humanity itself! my agenda is an expression of honor to them, and a faith that love at it’s foundation survives with me. So if you are under any impression that what i am getting at, approaches within implication that i’ve betrayed you, you are not with me on this. I simply wish to be forth about offering that i haven’t offered you my all. And to open up the possibility that from this moment on out, we blossom into greatness, through great respect and communication, great intention with great action upon it, in building a future fertile for a harvest of loving creation.

I thank you my dear Brother, Sister
for giving yourself to process through my share.
For your forgiveness, and willingness to embark on something new with me.
I can almost promise you it will be a struggle, but i’m inviting you to hold me to it!

.
Tony

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